Mom

“Oh Man!”, proclaimed the Senator when he dropped his favorite blankie, “Hobbes” to the floor. Hobbes is a small square microfiber blanket with the head of a stuffed tiger. He has been with S since birth and is his personal security. He keeps S safe from Tigers-Monsters-and-Ghosts which have been tormenting him lately. For the last 60 minutes of preschool they show movies to the kids to calm them down as parents arrive to pick them up. The movies are certainly on the wholesome side, but a bit too grown up for my little man. The Lion King, Scooby Doo and the Jungle Book are more than little S can take, and the images have proven to give him nightmares. So, on this particular night, S was collecting his pile of friends to keep him safe when he dropped his buddy. I was surprised by the comment and knew instantly that it is a term that I regularly use when I am disappointed in something: Spoiled food, lost keys, a bad hair day, forgotten cell phone, etc…

I can't help but notice my own behavior reflected through the eyes and expressions of my children. The way that my son and baby girl open their mouths as wide as possible when they smile. The way that my son rocks to the beat of a song or claps his hands to a melody; Right on count. “Rock it out Senator”, I say. Or “Break it Down Baby”! The way they belly laugh, like the world is so delightful that it tickles their souls to be alive (even the 4 month old laughs as though her life depends on each chuckle!). From high-fives, to “Chao”, “excellente!”, “Yee Haw” and “oooooooooo-mmmmmm-gooossssshhhhhh” to “thank you baby Jesus for my baby sister”, I am struck at how my little Senator mimics the expressions of my hubby and I. I am amazed when my baby mimics the movement of our eye browns, or tries with all her might to carry on a conversation with us (she sounds like a drowning cat!). I can’t say that I am proud of every moment that I have as a parent. I am not proud of every action or choice that I have made, but I am proud to be their mom. I am proud, and blessed to see myself in their eyes, hear myself on their tongues, and watch myself in their actions. It makes me want to be a better me. A non-complacent me. A selfless me. A Mom. (I applaud all the mommies out there who have figured this out- I am still a work in progress).